Category Archives: Melissa’s Musings and Doodlings

Musings, original paintings, and sketches from life as I see it

My Chestnut Stump

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The breeze blowing my bangs and caressing my cheeks, I run. Through the rhododendron archway, really more like a tunnel extending from just beyond the side lawn, down the hill, and well into our woods. I run through the level area of our woods, where I once found oyster mushrooms growing all the way up a tall stump, to the old stone wall marking the edge of our property. I step carefully onto the wobbly, jumbled stones, then leap lightly into the sanctuary—Butler Sanctuary, my sanctuary.

Slowing, I meander through young birch and maple trees, pausing to twist off a twig of black birch. Chewing it to taste its wintermint flavor, I continue through the birches till I get to the main trail through the sanctuary. I turn to my right onto the wide, dirt trail and then launch myself down the eroded hill, leaping from rock to ridge, ricocheting to the next narrow ridge beside water-gouged gashes. With increasing momentum, I feel like a fledgling bird attempting my first flights.

As the trail levels out and becomes smoother, I drop into an easy jog, looking from side to side at grassy knolls scattered throughout open woods. Somehow, I don’t know why, patches of native grasses in sun-dappled woods always catch my attention and fill my heart in some way beyond words.

I watch for the narrow path, barely visible, that leads to the left, over dry rock ridges dressed in soft green lichen, stretching between oaks and the occasional white birch. Following the path, I slow to a walk, stepping softly and silently, anticipation rising inside me.

Passing under a tall oak with spreading branches, I slow, then stop. The Chestnut Stump stands before me, his ribs spiraling upward, his smooth, worn wood grey and burnished with age, now glowing golden in the evening sun. He stands taller than I and much too big to encircle with my arms, and I gaze in wonder at his elegant grace, his timeless stance. Tiny lichens grow right up to his base, green with red, matchstick-like stalks. Crumbled rock spreads side to side, and a rocky precipice of boulders drops far down in front of him. His jagged upper reaches stretch skyward and, following the spiral lines, I gaze as my Chestnut Stump points silently up to golden clouds.

I always felt a sense of awe as I approached The Chestnut Stump. I had never seen a living American Chestnut in all its glory, but this stump stood with a dignity not common among the trees in the sanctuary. Majestic even in death, my Chestnut stood with purpose, connecting heaven and earth for me

A to Z April Blogging C

Barabbas

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Barabbas

Today is Good Friday, a dark day in history when Jesus was condemned and crucified. So why is it called “Good”? If we look at that day from the perspective of Barabbas, it was indeed a good day, an unexpectedly good day.

Barabbas was a criminal condemned to die, a terrorist or some other sort of violent criminal. Roman prisons were harsh places, and death sentences were carried out cruelly. Barabbas could have been dragged from his prison cell at any time to be flogged to the point of being horribly flayed, after which he would be crucified—an especially slow and torturous form of execution. He probably wasn’t having any good days and could only have been anticipating worse.

Then, unexpectedly and seemingly inexplicably, Barabbas was released, set free and given a new chance to live. Why? There was a custom that at the time of the Passover, the Roman governor would release one condemned prisoner of the crowd’s choosing. Pilate had offered to release Jesus, whom he knew was innocent of any crime, but the mob, stirred up by jealous religious leaders, had demanded that Jesus be crucified and Barabbas be released instead. So Barabbas was set free from the death sentence he deserved, while Jesus, who had harmed no one and had preached love and forgiveness, was crucified, condemned with the death sentence Barabbas had earned.

It was truly a good day for Barabbas, and it was for us for the same reason. We, too, deserve death, because every one of us has broken God’s law. When Jesus was asked what the two greatest commandments were, he replied, “’Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.”  All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”(Matthew 22:36-40)

None of us has followed either of those commandments perfectly, and since all the Law hangs on them, we are guilty of breaking God’s law. The result is separation from God, and eternal separation from God is death. But that dark Friday was good, because Jesus died in our place. I suppose Barabbas could have chosen to stay where he was, but I’m guessing he went out of that prison marveling and rejoicing that he was free. We can stay where we are in darkness and under a death sentence, or we can acknowledge and turn from the prison of our sin, accept Jesus’ death for us, and walk free into life. Like Barabbas, I am marveling and rejoicing, even while I am soberly pondering the darkness of this Good Friday.

A to Z April Blogging B

April A to Z Blogging Challenge– Atonement

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A to Z Blogging Challenge

A friend of mine has done the April A to Z Blogging Challenge for a couple of years, and I decided I’d give it a try this year. I clearly haven’t been very consistent in posting, and I’m hoping this will get me more in the habit of writing or posting artwork. I’m not planning to stick with a particular theme, other than letting the letter of the day be my starting point, so my posts might be all over the place with content or subject matter.

Atonement

Since tomorrow is Good Friday, I figured “Atonement” would be timely for my “A” entry.

Here’s the definition of atonement that I found online:

  • reparation for a wrong or injury
  • (in religious contexts) reparation or expiation for sin
  • the reconciliation of God and humankind through Jesus Christ

Easter is one of my favorite days of the year. I remember getting up early, while it was still dark, and going out to meet some other college students for a sunrise service at our church in Ithaca. There was a shared sense of wonder and joy as we stood by a wide creek for some moments in silence and then sang joyful hymns of praise—Easter hymns have always been my favorite hymns.

But Easter wouldn’t be, if there hadn’t been Good Friday. I always used to wonder why it was called “good,” when it is a day for remembering the brutal killing of an innocent person. That was before I understood the depth and urgency of my need for atonement—reconciliation with God. When I began to really understand how my sin separates me from God, I developed a greater appreciation (that’s another good “A” word) for what Christ did in taking the punishment I owed for my own sin so that I could be reconciled to God. The more I get to truly know myself, the more I am in awe (another excellent “A”) of Jesus’ willingness to suffer pain and even death for me.

I don’t anticipate (yet another good “A” word) meeting anyone by a creek this Easter, but I am looking forward to meditating with humble gratitude tomorrow on the death of Christ and then, with great joy, celebrating his resurrection on Easter Sunday.

God presented Christ as a sacrifice of atonement, through the shedding of his blood—to be received by faith.  Romans 3:25

For this reason he had to be made like them, fully human in every way, in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, and that he might make atonement for the sins of the people. Hebrews 2:17

A to Z April Blogging A

New Website: The Art of Prayer

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I’ve just recently launched a new website, The Art of Prayer, where I will explore the intersection of my art and my relationship with God and will post my thoughts and experiences about prayer.

God made me an artist, and when I neglect my art, I neglect one of the primary ways God designed me to worship him and be in communion with him. I find that when I sketch, more than when I focus on a finished painting or drawing, I tend to unconsciously move into an awareness of God’s presence and into a sense of wonder. Sketching is, for me, a way of simply being with God. God made me an artist. I need to do my art in some way or another, or I feel as though my soul is drying up. Sketching is a way I do that without being concerned for how others will react to my art, and that frees me to be more fully in the moment and present with God.

Between 2006 and 2016 I wrote suggestions for daily prayer based on Scripture that were published in our church bulletin each week. I’ve decided to start rewriting and posting these prayer suggestions on The Art of Prayer site under Praying Scripture Daily. I invite you to join me in praying with Scripture and also in exploring ways to connect with God through art. I’d love to hear how others find that art enriches their relationship with God or draws them closer to him.

Click on image to view it larger

Recent Sketches

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I’ve been enjoying sketching a variety of subjects recently. A few friends and I have been meeting weekly via Zoom for drawing sessions. One person selects photos and pins them, and then we all sketch them for 20 minutes. We do three photos each week, sharing our drawings after each photo. It’s been a very enjoyable and inspiring way to meet during this ongoing time of Covid distancing. Some weeks we have sketched dancers, since one of the artists has a niece who is a dance instructor and is also a wonderful photographer, and other times we’ve sketched wild mustangs. I think one of these weeks we might sketch elk and bison. I have always loved sketching wildlife and have been surprised how much I’ve enjoyed sketching dancers.

Three quick sketches of one image in 20 minutes; I liked the idea of overlapping and also using different mediums.

(Click on images to view full size)

I took my mother for her two Covid vaccinations in February and, while she was inside the Westchester County Center, I waited outside sketching people. Some were standing on line waiting to go inside; others, like me, were waiting for family members who were inside. I also sketched a couple of the National Guardsmen and local policemen who were keeping it all organized. It was chilly (okay cold), but, as always, I enjoyed the challenge of doing quick sketches of people who weren’t holding one position for long. I think my Zoom drawing sessions have helped me capture proportions more quickly. I sketched on location with ballpoint pen and later added watercolor to one of my sketchbook pages. Ramble was with me, and he loved all the attention from people who came over to admire and greet him.


We’ve had a wonderfully snowy February, and Ramble loves leaping in the snow. I took some photos of his joyful cavorting while snowshoeing in Choate Audubon Sanctuary behind my mother’s house, and later sketched from my photos.

After one snowfall the branches were all frosted with white, so I did a gouache sketch of one of our old black locust trees with snow-topped branches.

When I was back home after a week away (I got snowed in at my mother’s), I sketched Stephen and Ramble as Stephen read to me by the fire.

Sketching as Prayer Retreat January 30, 2021

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“Earth’s crammed with heaven,
And every common bush afire with God,
But only he who sees takes off his shoes;
The rest sit round and pluck blackberries.”
Elizabeth Barrett Browning

While we aren’t plucking blackberries at this time of year, many of us are sitting around, either because it’s winter and we’re not outside as much, or because we’re sticking close to home due the the pandemic raging around us. And despite social distancing, quarantine, and isolation, earth is still “crammed with heaven,” with every common bush “afire with God.” So, too, every aspect of creation bears marks of its Creator, signs pointing to the ongoing presence, stability and love of God, who is still watching over and sustaining this world through all the turmoil of this present time.

While most of us would like to be mindful of God’s presence, it is often difficult to notice that which is quiet and subtle, especially when so much else clamors for our attention. God more often whispers than shouts and leaves fingerprints for us to seek rather than neon lights flashing in our faces. Sketching can be a pathway to being present here and now, seeing those fingerprints in the world around us, and becoming aware of God’s presence. And in the process we are drawn into prayer, either with words or in silent communion with and worship of the Master Artist.

In this retreat we will open our sketchbooks, eyes, and hearts to God’s presence in his creation. We will cover some basics of simple sketching to capture the essence of a subject, whether person, animal, or landscape and look with eyes of faith into the world to see God’s touch all around us, as we enter into prayer through the pages of a sketchbook.

Details:
January 30, 2021
1:00 PM – 4:00 PM
Zoom Online Retreat
We will alternate brief presentations via Zoom with periods of silence for meditation, prayer, and sketching, followed by a time to share thoughts, observations, and sketches.

Artistic experience isn’t necessary, and there’s no fee, but you will need a few supplies. Email Melissa Fischer (melissafischerartist@gmail.com) for more details and to register.

Sketch from January 2020 retreat– (click image to enlarge)

Holidays in Ink– Final Sketches

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I was going to entitle this post, “Holidays in Ink Week 6 Sketches,” but since it took me almost three weeks to finish, I decided “Final Sketches” was more appropriate. The home stretch of this project took longer since it included our four day drive back to New York from Texas, and then settling in and catching up on many details. My interest in drawing and writing with my enticing variety of pens and inks actually increased, but I just wasn’t able to focus as I wanted to. That seems to generally be the case for me after a long drive, and I’m learning to expect that and spend extra time walking and puttering in ways that help me get back on track. Also, as a side effect of the Holidays in Ink project, I have become more interested in working on my calligraphy skills and handwriting in general, so I’ve spent a significant amount of time doodling and writing out the alphabet on scrap paper in the weeks since returning home.

The sketch I first did on this page was a disaster, so I did a watercolor and ink sunrise on a separate piece of paper and glued it in. Wouldn’t it be nice if all mistakes in life had such a simple do-over solution? I am thankful I can at least take the pressure off of my sketching practice so easily.

I really enjoyed this page! I laid down a watercolor wash, and after it was dry I did 3 minute sketches based on photos from Quickposes.com.

The next day I did more 3 minute sketches from the same site, but chose to do portrait practice instead. I am planning to keep working on my ability to capture a likeness quickly, as I love the idea of quickly sketching a person’s portrait and then giving it to them. My father did well over 10,000 caricatures of children all around the world, often of complete strangers he only saw on a train or in some other brief encounter, and our family has been hearing how meaningful those sketches were to many people. Just recently someone contacted me from Germany to say that his son, now grown, still treasures a caricature that my father did of him on a plane many years ago. I remember eating lunch with my father in Chinatown and watching him draw a child at a nearby table, then he rolled up the drawing after showing it to the child, secured it with a rubber band, and gave it to him. I’d love to be able to give someone such delight by doing something similar.

On New Year’s Day I found two prayers I thought appropriate for the start of a new year and copied them as calligraphy practice. I also tried my hand at calligraphy flourishes in the corners– I need a lot more practice with that.

Back home in my studio, I was eager to play with my Chinese ink stick and stone, and my Anhinga photos from Florida were a perfect subject for that style. Painting them brought back wonderful memories of watching all sorts of beautiful birds when visiting a friend there.

After we got back to New York we had to quarantine, as per the state Covid-19 protocol, and when a friend brought us groceries, she also gave us a bunch of beautiful daffodils. I tried painting them with watercolor on Yupo, and the result definitely did not do justice to the stunning flowers, so I wiped all the paint into a yellow background, then sketched a Cheetah on it with ink. I was much happier with that!

Next I decided to try blowing ink to create a dynamic effect, as I have often done with watercolor. That was indeed dynamic, in a way that my studio will reflect for quite some time! It turns out that ink blows much farther than watercolor! I had fun doing this rooster, though, using ink and gouache, and then I wrote up the story of the rooster named “United States of America” that we had when our children were little.

And finally, as is often the case, my last entry in my sketchbook was actually the front page, which I nearly always leave blank until my book is finished.

My sketchbook is full and Holidays in Ink has come to a close, but my enthusiasm for working with ink is greater than ever, and I am looking forward to continuing to play, experiment, learn, and share ideas back and forth with friends. Many thanks again to my friend Jamie Grossman, who came up with the idea of Holidays in Ink. She is always overflowing with creative ideas and inspires me with her suggestions and her generous sharing of what she is learning, as well as with her beautiful artwork.

Holidays in Ink Week 5 Sketches

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I’ve had a very full week with family, including four delightful grandchildren, so my sketching has mostly been squeezed into afternoon nap/rest times and late evenings after the children are abed. I’ve also enjoyed sketching with six-year-old Paul and four-year-old Elizabeth, both budding artists; a couple of the sketches from this week were done while they also drew. In addition, I challenged myself to do quick gesture sketches of the children; that truly is a challenge, since they rarely hold one position for more than a few seconds. The evening I did gesture sketching from quickposes.com, set for three minutes per subject, felt like a luxury of time after sketching the children!

My first couple of sketches for week 5 were travel sketches, done in motels in the evenings after a day of travel.

I had very little knowledge of Texas geography, so I drew a map of the state with major cities.

Christmas Eve and  Christmas Day were great times for sketching the children as I spent time with them.

My son’s home is surrounded by beautiful trees, all crying out to be sketched.

And then there were quiet evenings sketching from images on my computer, while Stephen read Jane Eyre to me before bed.

I was inspired by my friend Jamie Grossman’s addition of line work practice to her quick gesture sketches, so I did likewise. Thank you, Jamie, for sharing your inspiring ideas!

I think I have sketched every day of Holidays in Ink, except for Thanksgiving Day. I didn’t always feel like getting started, but I was always glad to spend time slowing down, observing, and sketching once I got started. I’m looking forward to more sketching during this final week of Holidays in Ink!

Holidays in Ink Week 4 Sketches and Musings

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I always find it restful and centering to take time to sketch a tree I love.

(Rather than post my sketches in chronological order, I’m going to intersperse them with my musings. As always, click on the images if you’d like to see them larger.)

Week 4 was a tough one for me. That was partially because I had a lot to do this week, and being busy makes it hard for me to settle into an artistic frame of mind. I’ve found over and over that it can be frustrating to try stopping just briefly to sketch; I really need a longer break to move my mind out of my To-do list and into a different sort of focus. I have also been finding that grief is hitting hard with Christmas just around the corner. Last week was three months since we said good-bye to Petra, and Christmas Day will be seven months since my father died, which still doesn’t seem like it could be real.

Sketches done during Nosework class with Ramble; constantly moving subjects- challenging but fun!

But I think the biggest factor in making this week challenging has been my own internal critique who’s convinced me that my work isn’t good enough, as if there is a specific standard that determines what is “good enough”. In what ways is it not good enough? Well, my page layout isn’t perfect; I look at beautifully composed pages in other artists’ sketchbooks and wish I could make my pages look like theirs. And my penmanship isn’t perfect, either. My father’s penmanship was beautiful, even when he just jotted himself a quick reminder, and I wish mine were like his. I’m working on my page layout and my penmanship, and they’re getting better, but, frustratingly, haven’t instantly become perfect. Also, as the weeks have progressed, I have many pages I really like in my Holidays in Ink sketchbook. And that’s become intimidating to me too, because now I want the whole book to look just right– more pressure from that internal critique!

One day when I hadn’t had any time to sketch, I did two quick sketches of Stephen while he read to me, and then a thumbnail sketch of how I imagine mountains might look praising God.

So what am I learning from this? Well, I have often thought that my sketchbook is a working journal and a reflection of my daily life, rather than a finished piece of art, such as when I do a complete painting. And since my life is far from perfect, it makes sense that my sketchbook wouldn’t be perfect either. I strive to always be growing in who I am as a person, both in the overall big picture and also in nitty gritty details, and so I guess my struggle with page layout and penmanship reflect those processes in my life. This week has been both a challenge and also a great opportunity to accept where I am, even while striving to grow from the example of others and to improve my skills. I am looking forward to what the coming week will bring!

My imagination sketch of mountains praising God by sending up streams of vibrant color. I also wrote here, practicing my penmanship and describing more of how I imagine creation praising and glorifying God.

Holidays in Ink Week 3 Sketches

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This week I found myself getting more confident and a bit more enthusiastic about stretching myself out of my comfort zone, at least a few times. A couple times I started a page planning to do something I was very comfortable with, and then I gained confidence or inspiration and branched out.

The first sketch of the week was a familiar subject, Chickadees– my favorite birds– done as a Chinese ink brush painting. I had never used an ink stick and stone before, and these had been my father’s, so that was a special but poignant addition to that day’s sketching. He would have loved to have seen what I sketched. He always wanted to carefully look through and comment on my sketchbooks.

(Click on images to see them larger.)

Next I decided to travel by sketchbook to one of my favorite places– Schoodic Peninsula at Acadia National Park, and I sketched from a sunrise photo I had taken there. I don’t do a lot of sketching on toned paper, but I always enjoy it when I do, and I enjoyed both the process and the subject.

The next day I had a bit of a sketchbook accident that prompted me to add the “Story Sketch– Sketch your day in thumbnail sketches on a page” to my original plan to do the “Pathway” prompt. That was a fun way of redeeming an accident!

The following day I was busy all day and didn’t have a chance to pick up my sketchbook until evening, when Stephen was reading to me, so I decided to sketch my left hand. I’ve been reading Raphael: Painter in Rome, and one thing that stood out was how many, many sketches Raphael did to build his skill as a painter and also as an observer. I really want to do more studies and sketches of people, so hands fit right in. I’ve rarely been happy with the few hands sketches I’ve done, but I liked how these turned out. Not much page design that day; I was happy just to do some sketching after a full day.

After I had sketched my hand, Stephen was still reading (the Return of the King was at a gripping point, so we read much later than usual), and I decided to try sketching him with a white gel pen on black paper. That was marginally successful but definitely fun to do!

Drip painting is really outside my comfort zone! I started to feel frustrated when working on it on Saturday, but then I reminded myself that I was just learning and playing with it and not trying to create a masterpiece. That helped, and I ended up enjoying the process so much I think I’ll try it again, even though I know it’ll never be my forte. The one of Stephen (you probably couldn’t tell it was of him) was a real mess, so I took a palette knife to it and moved the color around, and in the end I kind of like how it turned out. After messing around with that, I decided to do my favorite black locust tree, and I actually like the loose, spontaneous feel of that one. I think I’ll be trying more trees using this strange combination of tar gel and acrylic paint.

After doing the drip paintings I decided to relax a bit and sketch trees, so I pulled out one of my photos of Meadowbrook Farm’s orchard and did a sketch of the apple trees in winter. I purposefully kept most of the paper white on this one. Sometimes I like the cleanness of open space on a page, although in this case I wonder whether a border would be a nice addition.

I stayed home Sunday morning and streamed our church service from my rocking chair in the kitchen, sketching the trees out the window during parts of the service. I almost always find sketching trees very meditative and conducive to prayer.

Later that afternoon I decided to use the “Patterns in Nature” prompt to study the bark of different tree species, and that was  educational and also challenging as I tried to capture color and texture using various inks and methods of applying the ink. That page has a simple layout, but I like it. I’m still debating whether or not to add a border. If I were handy with Photoshop I would see how it would look with a border, but I am definitely not handy or happy with Photoshop, so for now I’m just trying to imagine what it would look like.

My final page of the week– “10 Minute Sketches of a Stump over 3 Years”– was another page for which my plan changed as I did it. I was planning to do three sketches of stumps– three different stumps, all with a light ink wash and a dip pen. But halfway through my first sketch I remembered that I had photographed the same stump on three different visits to Schoodic Peninsula at Acadia National Park, and I decided to sketch the gradual changes in the stump over the years and also to use a different approach with each sketch. I wasn’t altogether happy with one of the sketches, but I was happy with my page layout and also with the concept, so it was a good learning experience.

I spent acouple of evenings working on a sketch of the Bedford Oak, trying to keep track of where it’s twisting limbs crossed and crossed.

One big take away I’ve had so far during Holidays in Ink is the fun it can be to try new things, sometimes with success, sometimes not. I am becoming more comfortable with process and, while I am happier and happier with the layout of my pages, I am also starting to become more relaxed about the inevitable less than stellar results I sometimes get.

Have you been sketching in ink? If so, I’d love to hear your thoughts. And if you’d like to see my sketches from earlier weeks of Holidays in Ink, click here to see my Holidays in Ink Week 2 Sketches and here for my Week 1 Sketches.